Joke of the Day

Q: Whats the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?

A: You can negiotate with a terrorist.

Q: Whats the difference between God and lawyers?

A: God does not think he is a lawyer.

put more...

Heres another lawyer joke, anyways i bought a joke book on lawyers' joke. I never knew lawyers jokes are so funny. Here is a long one:

As Mr. Smith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him.

He called for the three men he trusted most - his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman. He told them, " I'm going to give you each $30 000 in cash before i die. At my funeral, i want you to place the money in my coffin so that i can try to take it with me."

All three agreed to do this and were given the money. At the funeral, each approached the coffin in turn and placed an envelope inside. While riding in the limousine to the cemetery, the clergyman said "I have to confess something to you fellows. Brother Smith was a good churchman all his life, and i know he would have wanted me to do this badly. The church needed a new organ very badly, and i took $10,000 of the money he gave me and bought one. I only put $20,000 in the coffin."

The physician then said, "Well, since we're confiding in one another, i might as well you that i didn' put the full $30,000 in the coffin either. Smith had a disease that could have been diagnosed sooner if i had this very new machine, but the machine cost $20,000 and i couldn't afford it then. I used $20,000 of the money to buy the machine so that i might be able to save another patient. I know that Smith would have wanted me to do that."

The lawyer then said, "I'm ashamed of both of you. When i put my envelop into that coffin, it held my personal cheque for the full $30,000."

You are participating in a race. You overtake the second place person.
What position are you in?

garfield86 wrote:You are participating in a race. You overtake the second place person.
What position are you in?

If you answered that you are first, then you are wrong! If you overtake the second place person, and you take their place, you are second!

To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question.

If you are in a race, and you overtake the last person, then you are?

garfield86 wrote:If you are in a race, and you overtake the last person, then you are?

If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?! You're not having a good time at this! Are you?

The US developed a deadly weapon that destroys people but leave buildings standing, its called the stock market - Jay Leno.

Sweetslut wrote:The US developed a deadly weapon that destroys people but leave buildings standing, its called the stock market - Jay Leno.

Just fyi, there is such a weapon in real life - the neutron bomb.

Click on the link below to find out more:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neutron_bomb

well , we are on the lawyer jokes thingy , here's something.

Q:What do you call a lawyer at the bottom of the ocean ?

A:Pollution

Q:What do you call five lawyers at the bottom of the ocean ?

A:Pollution

Q:What do you call all the lawyers at the bottom of the ocean ?

A:Solution